From Longing to Fullness
Autobiographical Cosmology: Memoir, Emanation, and the Return to Fullness
Understanding Sophia’s Longing
I was not born from a union. I was born from longing — a human echo of a cosmic fracture.
From a woman seeking to fill an unnamed void, I arrived.
And from me, two daughters followed.
Wanted — yes.
Nurtured into fullness — no.
We were wanted, yet we weren’t nurtured in the ways that were required for socioeconomic sustainability and fullness. I’m sure this can be said of many who can relate.
Moreover, I realized how Sophia, in all her brilliant wisdom and longing to create, brought forward an incomplete being, known as the demiurge. I get it. I can’t hate her for it. I can only sit back and truly understand.
The Awakening
The beauty is knowing this and working past it. The acceptance opens a portal to transcend pain and separation to a path of becoming something truly outstanding. Something or someone beyond the limited imagination and circle of influence we are all born into.
Not by magic, but by a determination and willingness to spiritually connect to Oneness, from the inner part, the indwelling fullness that shatters the boundaries of humanity and lifts the true self to its origin of divinity.
This path is within, and it is narrow. It requires a decision to eat from the tree of life and a progressive dissolution of the knowledge of what we call good and evil as the tormenting lens through which we interpret reality. Once we choose the path of Oneness, we let go of the double-mindedness that is the cross we all bear in this reality.
God is within her; she shall not be moved; God shall help her, just at the break of dawn. (KJV)
There are moments when scripture stops being something we read and becomes something that reads us.
Moments when a single line opens not as poetry, but as a doorway.
When the soul, long seated in slumber, feels the subtle tremor of remembrance.
This is not inspiration — it is initiation.
Not comfort — but awakening.
And so begins the crossing.
The Awakening from a Sleeping State, to Life! Reborn. Rebirthed.
In the process of waking up, we tend to review memories of our old selves. We do this before we accept what has happened, seemingly, to make certain that we aren’t dreaming. The classic backward pullback before correction is a loop written and seen in many stories, books, and films. You know the times when the main character goes through the plots and twists before accepting their new powers and abilities, etc.
Then we come to the reckoning that what we are experiencing is real, and we go through the process of development. Training, learning our new skills, and conquering fears, so that the new version of self can shine through.
After that, we get to a point where we start to have faith and believe in the new self, realizing the powers we have unlocked have been there the whole time. All we had to do was allow ourselves to tap in, yet we realized the pain, trauma, and frustration of the challenge were necessary for our internal growth. We know that it was always there, inside of us.
The Kingdom of God is within…
By your faith be it unto you…
As above, so it is below…
As a man thinks in his heart, so is he…
You are the cause of the unlocked imagination that occurs when you decide there are no limits, there are only possibilities. You start to say, I AM POSSIBLE! You start to feel this as your truth, not just knowing the words, you become the words you are living. Living Word!
Then the remembering occurs.
Not as belief, but as recognition.
You realize you were never merely born — you were sent.
Emitted.
An emanation released from the Monad through Barbelo into the pleromic fullness.
Not created as matter first, but as consciousness —
a thought of God clothed in form.
And in that moment, you consciously denounce the illusion of demiurgic origin,
the story of separation that was once programmed into the psyche, dissolves.
You no longer trace yourself to fracture.
You return your lineage to fullness.
Not fallen — but descended.
Not abandoned — but commissioned.
This is not self-exaltation.
This is remembrance.
Shadow Work — The Sacred Work
Shadow work initiates self-discovery, which is an internal path that we are called to explore, but only a few will find it and consent to be chosen.
I made the choice many times over the course of my current life experiment, and here I find, I must decide to journey deeper once more. Deep calleth out unto the deep.
Each level has its obstacles, yet with the faith starting as the size of a mustard seed, you can speak to the mountain, and it will have to obey your command to move. Your wish is your command. It must get out of your way, and your small faith seed grows each time you act in your authority.
Faith that comes by hearing is not passive listening — it is deliberate construction.
For the mind is not a neutral field; it is a programmable sanctuary.
Every thought permitted to remain becomes a resident.
Every word rehearsed becomes law.
When you sweep the inner house of those negative prompters — removing the voices of limitation, inherited fear, ancestral doubt — you create vacancy.
But vacancy alone does not heal.
An empty temple must be refurnished with truth.
Consider this:
A child who was once told, “You are not enough,” will eventually repeat that sentence internally without any external voice present. Years later, even standing before opportunity, love, or calling, the unconscious command still executes: retreat, shrink, refuse. Not because destiny is absent —
But because the belief storehouse has been stocked with scarcity.
So the work becomes surgical.
You replace the old sentences. Not once — but rhythmically.
Daily.
Until the nervous system recognizes a new law.
“I am chosen.”
“I am capable.”
“I am aligned.”
“I am sent.”
And slowly, silently, the inner architecture reorganizes itself around truth.
Your Customized System
Instructions: You must continually implant faith-building information to build your internal belief storehouse. This particular reservoir is where the substance known as faith is stored in large quantities for future use.
The belief storehouse is not a metaphor — it is a metaphysical chamber within consciousness.
The interior treasury where impressions crystallize into expectation,
and expectation hardens into reality.
Here is where faith becomes substance.
Every affirmation deposited strengthens its walls.
Every fearful rehearsal weakens its foundation.
From this reservoir, the subconscious draws material to construct experiences, relationships, destiny, and limitations alike.
This is why scripture speaks of treasures in heaven —
For the inner world is the first heaven any soul ever inhabits.
Guard this chamber with devotion. For whatever is stored here will eventually rise, clothed as circumstance. Choose what you program yourself with so that what’s in you comes out of you, with purpose.
Closing Declaration
And so the work continues — not as striving, but as remembering.
I am no longer governed by fracture,
nor authored by inheritance,
nor limited by the stories once spoken over my becoming.
I return myself to the origin.
To fullness.
To the silent knowing that I was always more than the world could name.
Not seeking God —
but awakening as the dwelling place of God.
Unmoved.
Assisted at dawn.
Emanated from light.
And finally —
conscious of who I have always been.
Yours Truly,
Quantum
